Fantasy AUs

[nerdietalk]

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[hououji]

My love, you could never be like him. I promise you.

[fluidgender]

I feel like we're getting off the subject of you not pushing yourself after you see the girls.

[hououji]

My life is already shorter. I don’t want it to be boring or pointless.

[fluidgender]

That's way too fast to be assigning worth to moments.,,

But I'm not asking you to rest forever. I'm asking for you to rest while you're recovering from a poison.

[hououji]

I’ve been healed. It’s not the pace of a queen to rest too much. There are things that need to be done.

[fluidgender]

[They lean against their cheek, tut tutting a little. She'd be like this even if she still had the years. But then again... they'd say the same thing in her shoes.]

Love you too. [It just slips out like that.]

[hououji]

[ she pauses only to turn and smile sweetly. ]

… I’ve been lucky in life, haven’t I?

[fluidgender]

Not as lucky as me, I bet.

[hououji]

I’m lucky because of you.

[fluidgender]

I love you too.

[hououji]

Get some rest, my love. We have quite a bit of work ahead of us.

[fluidgender]

So nothing's changed. [But said pleasantly.

But they'll let that be that.]

[hououji]

Nothing worth thinking about. [ She’s going to go check on Catra!!! She’s very worried about her little girl.

Lmao ranma alone in her childhood bedroom tho. ]

[fluidgender]

[They aren't sure they've spent this much time in here, honestly. Maybe a few minutes during diplomatic trips or something like that but...

Its odd. Feels odd.

Catra is, naturally, very eager to find her mom. She's not even gonna pretend to be anti-touch, she's going for a snuggle immediately. She'll purr. She don't care.]

[hououji]

[ It’s very Fuu in a way no room they’ve shared has been. High bookshelves, well-loved stuffed toys, pictures and mementos of her childhood on the shelves.

Books and books and journals filled with medical knowledge. Jars of herbs and tools neatly in a row on her desk. A war medic uniform hung on a hook on the wall that still has light staining of what was probably blood.

It’s almost like a time capsule. Like everything was the way she left for Nerima. She’s never had the time to go through it.

She spends so long just holding Kaori close, petting her hair. ] I was so worried when I sent you home alone. I was afraid you’d be hurt… I’m so glad you made it safely.

[fluidgender]

[Ranma's certainly thought a lot about Fuu's sacrifices. The way the pressures of the position has restrained them both. When forced to do a speech, they've probably spent more time gushing about Fuu and her life than talking about their own.

But its different to think about it in your brain than it is to see it around you. They gently take a book off a shelf and then immediately feel guilty for doing so. Like Ranma's sullying it with their own touch.]

Me? I was worried about you! I should've stayed, I know I shouldn't have let you talk me into leaving...

[hououji]

[ It’s a storybook! A novel about magic and wizards and such. Right next to it, a book on strategy in war time tips to fill the space. ]

None of that. I’m your mother. It’s my job to protect you, not the other way around.

[missedorientation]

[Ranma reads the whole thing. Looking for ways the paper have creased or worn down. The history of its use. They'll do the same with other books too.]

Someone's gotta be protecting you too! It ain't fair otherwise!

[hououji]

[ There’s a diary tucked in there, on the shelf closest to her desk. ]

And that’s what your father has done over the last twenty or so years. He’s very stubborn about it.

[missedorientation]

[Does the mental math on the acceptable statue of limitations on diary reading, peeks anyway.]

Should you even be walking around this early? You've been suffering for who knows how long.

[hououji]

[ most of the early entries were clearly written while she was in training with the wind god’s temple. There’s a lot about war after, and being on the battlefield. These entries are short, sometimes just numbers or tallies under dates.

Does Ranma want to close the journal before they potentially wind up in it? ]

If I stayed in bed any longer, I would have gone mad. I’ve been resting for days and the healers do their jobs well.

[fluidgender]

[Extremely risky likelihood that this could do damage to any vague sense that they've redeemed themselves for the old days. Would probably be better not to look.

Ranma looks.]

If I was sick, you'd tell ME to stop running around.

[hououji]

[the journals start to get more specific, dates moving closer to when Ranma joined the battlefield. And then a gap of about two weeks.

Father has recalled me home. He got word of how close we were to the latest battle. I don't know what they'll do after losing another healer. The war is getting worse, so many people have been lost. There must be something I can do, that we can do. Surely the people of Nerima can see reason... Surely my own people can see reason. I'd do anything to stop this.

--

Kuu has told me Father's solution. I've never seen her so sad. She doesn't believe that the world should be so cruel as to sacrifice a daughter to Nerima's prince.

I told her to run. Her retainer adores her, and she him. If they were to elope, the marriage couldn't go on. I don't think she realizes what will happen yet. It will be far too late by the time she does.

I'll speak with father in the morning.

--

Everyone looks at me as if I'm a ghost, as if I have already died. Perhaps it's better that way, that they mourn now so that the future will not be so hard. I don't think they know I can hear them. They speak of the prince like a monster. He can't truly be so awful, can he? He must also have agreed to this...

If he wants a wife then I will do my best. If he wants blood, then let it end with me. If the family takes out their anger on me, or the country its sorrow, it's better than it being taken out on Sefiro. I never want to see a battlefield again.

--

I will leave tomorrow. Kuu won't arrive home in time to stop me, thank goodness. I wonder if I'll be able to keep a journal there. I should take a new one--it wouldn't be any good for someone from Nerima to find this one.

I'll likely never see home again. I said I've made my peace with that, but it's harder than I expected. It will be lonely without everyone, but I at least have the happiness of memories and hope they'll be all right. That's what's most important.

If he wants a wife, I hope we can come to find each other's company pleasant somehow. Even if we've been on opposite sides of this war, I must believe there is good in him. I have to come to terms that he'll likely hate me. I have no idea how to be a wife. Kuu was the one who trained in that regard, so I'm certain he'll be disappointed.

If he wants me for anything other than that... I hope he'll at least lay me to rest in Sefiro.

--

Mother, Father, Kuu, if you have found this journal, please know that I'm at peace with my decision, whatever has come of it. I hope only we can meet again.

And the journal ends on the day before their wedding.]

Of course I would. But you are not sick and I am not sick.

[fluidgender]

[Ranma sets the diary down and rests their head on the bed next to it, staring at the ceiling. Its nothing surprising. Its all things that were true. Are true. Anyone would have expected the worst.

But... its hard not to think about the ways they haven't changed. No matter how much time passes, no matter how much praise they get... Ranma's still a murderer. Its the nature of this family line. Impossible not to be. Kaori... Adora... they're caught up in it too.

They wonder a lot about how feasible it would be to... end the royal line. Not violently, god no. But... to set up something without the royals at the top. Something that makes it less likely for the cursed Nerima royal blood to taint this world. A new government, new system. A system where their daughters... won't end up like Ranma.

But that possibility has slipped through their fingers. New government means instability. Instability means weakness. Weakness means the fae will sabotage. Interference means the whole idea falls apart and you're left with panic and violence as the violent horde together power and the innocents get killed in the process. Either the kids are doomed or the country is doomed. All Ranma's fault in both directions.

This might be a panic attack.]

That's hypocrisy. Ma's a hyocrite.

[hououji]

[ please do not while your wife is not nearby to comfort you. ]

How is it hypocrisy when we both aren’t sick?